Father Christmas* has announced that post-Brexit he will be leaving Britain out of his deliveries. His chief negotiator, Moosheur Barni-Elf said, “He doesn’t have time to sit around in queues at border controls, or waste days filling in forms and checking compliance divergence. Emergency talks with Brussels put forward the suggestion that if he travelled via Ireland he could enter the UK through the new fully aligned, flexible, non-existent, electronic border and avoid all that. ** To which Moosheur Barni-Elf replied, “The Christmas delivery routes were ratified under the common EU Toy Policy, and they are not going to be changed just because the British had taken leave of their senses.”
Donald was very much enjoying his role as St George, being a bigly fan of the guy, until a tweet from Steve Bannon informed him that the dude was half-Syrian and most likely a Muslim. Attempts to persuade Donald that St George was born hundreds of years before the birth of Islam just proves the lengths these people will go to infiltrate and take over. Urgent diplomatic talks at the highest level followed, and a total ban on Britons entering the United States was narrowly averted.