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Boris has resigned and people are very pleased.
But before they crack open the champagne and hang up the bunting, they should think of what we are about to lose:
We have never before had a leader who is so skilled and prolific at sincere apologies: it doesn’t matter what he’s done or how often he’s done it, he gives a master class in genuine and heartfelt apologistics
And he has been so keen to demonstrate this vital skill to the nation that he has kept up a continuous stream of things for which he needs to sincerely apologise. He even made himself ignorant of laws he’d created himself, just so he could show us how deeply sorry he was for breaking them. Frankly, the man’s a hero. And up until now, the only people able to operate at this level were card-carrying psychopaths, so to find it in the leader of our country is a chance in a million – and to throw it away because of a trivial detail like having a leader who lies about everything makes it impossible to run the country, completely ignores the fact that he is a man absolutely determined to solve the grave problems the country faces.
And so keen is he to demonstrate that he’s the man for the job that he has worked flat out to create the grave problems in the first place. Name me one leader who has bothered to do that? And it takes a lot of bother to create a trade deal that involves so much red tape that exports crash by fifty percent and the M20 has to be turned into a world-beating outdoor toilet to cope with the queues of lorries. Or a protocol that whichever way up you look at it, separates part of a country from itself, and risks breaking up either the United Kingdom or an international treaty – a difficulty he proposes to solve by breaking another treaty he signed only yesterday, meaning he could add losing the country’s reputation and credibility to all the other grave problems he’s determined to put right.
And who else, when found in breach of the ministerial code, rolls up his sleeves and changes the ministerial code, to say nothing of being found in breach of human rights by the ECHR and then threatening to leave. Well, I have to admit there are others who have done that, but just because the others have not been savoury, doesn’t mean that deporting refugees to a country known chiefly for genocide is a bad idea.
But worst of all, without him to tell us that everything about our country is World Beating, we will literally stop being World Beating and discover that we are a very small, breaking-up nation, with a failing economy, trade brought to a standstill, food we can’t afford rotting in the fields, and unable to get an ambulance because there’s either no fuel or they are all stuck in queues at A&E.
But before we get too disheartened, we should hang onto the fact that he hasn’t actually gone anywhere yet. And where most people come on, announce their resignation, bravely fighting back their tears (or don’t quite manage it), Boris walked out to the lectern – with his wife looking cheery as all get out, Jacob R-M looking full of the joys of Potato Famines and Corn Laws, and Little Dorries standing by just waiting to be asked – and proceeded to tell us about all his marvellous achievements (yes, of course he was making them up) and remind us just how many people had voted for him.
In Opera, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. With a Boris, it’s not over till the fat man hands over the keys to Number 10.
Richard Berkeley said:
Well said, Lizzy. His henchfolk (can’t say men, not true anyway) are a foul bunch: JRM and Dorries amongst the foulest, but you could have written much sterner stuff about the party and the selfinterested aged mass that supports it. I despair of the entitled Britons who are rotting the country
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The Diva said:
Thank you – and I agree. They are a vile bunch.
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ginny2860 said:
Brilliant Lizzie!!
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The Diva said:
Thank you!
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The Diva said:
ps are you in Italy?
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krishan17 said:
Very astute of you to look for the Boris Benefits. As you’re in Italy, I also thought I’d point out that the well-known Italian politician Berlusconi is an anagram of ‘Boris Clue’. (With a spare n, just because)
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The Diva said:
They are obviously closely related. Pleased to see Boris is busy filling the cabinet with the last remaining rabble willing to serve under him.. And then what – Suella Braverman?????
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Bobbie Jean said:
Oh my goodness! You are so great at this. 🙂 I’m gonna read it again. 😀
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The Diva said:
Thank you!
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wighton18 said:
Ha! the other reason to celebrate slowly (!) is that though we may cease to be an actual laughing stock, the rest are still tories and arguably more coherent, competent ones. .
Be careful what you wish for…
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The Diva said:
You are SO too right. I only have to think of Prime Minister Patel… or Braverman
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Bobbie Jean said:
It is (I need an apt descriptor here) a relief to see that America is not the only country wherein darkness is on the rise. We have been lethargic and must awaken and to rise and re-evolve again. A wise older friend once told me that we, as humans evolve. Hence our “revolutions.” We re-evolve time after time. The opposite of evolution would be devolution/to de-volution, resulting in the rise and rule of another Hitler all over again. May goodness and light always reign.
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